so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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