Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I came so hard my ears popped.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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