You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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