I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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