bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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