Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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