Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He shit in the fireplace
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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