Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize