There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize