I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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