Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
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a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
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dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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