my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
send nudes
from the living room?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize