i may or may not be watching the land before time
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize