She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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