So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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