She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
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and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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