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wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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