I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize