Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize