i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize