Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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