you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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