god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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