I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize