Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's just like the Real World with babies
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I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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