like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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