i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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