What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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