I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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