does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
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We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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