New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize