girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize