I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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