It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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