jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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