i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
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I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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