you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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