Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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