I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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