i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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