I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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