He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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