do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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