i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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