how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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