2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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