anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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