Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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