You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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