If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
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I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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